解孔子眼里“好听的话”

孔子眼里“好听的话”

                                                    文/吕布凡

    许多人在做矛盾的坚持,一方面实在乐意听“好话”,来自陌生人、下属、朋友,甚至至亲,都想听到“YES”,甚至想听到与“YES”可以划等号的千奇百怪的“好话”。另一方面,当事人为了显示自己的宽宏,却必须告诉每一个人,自己是喜欢听到不同声音的人,于是,古代官场常会出现的“良性过错”就再现了—大人没有什么不足之处,唯一的缺点就是太为民着想了。八岁孩童都会觉得倍加讽刺,大人物们却常常沉浸于这种“批评”之中,有时会上了瘾地去博得貌似“不同的声音”,而其实则是“不同的好话”而已。如:

 

 

 

太善良
过于仁慈
某些程度还是好心的
出发点是对的
……

    孔子教导他的学生,说,总是说你好话的人,对你是不怀好意的。想必定有一定道理,千百年过去了,这话也常被人们使用,那么为什么有人愿意违心地去说好话呢?归纳起来,大致如下:

    企图变得老于世故,不愿意承认自己把事态看得清晰;
    认知有根本障碍,难以看清事情发展脉络;
    对已有的认知不确定,明哲保身不妄发任何不利言论。

 

    把持有这三种观念的人按照“土”方法归纳起来,又可以认定哪几种呢?也很清晰,不过如以下两类而已:

 

一、脑子清楚、立场不清楚;
二、立场清楚、脑子不清楚。

 

    把爱说好话的情况和容易说好话的人归纳起来看看,确实如孔子老人家所说,这样的人或有心或无意地对别人“不怀好意”了,如果是有心,立场上此人不是同行列,如果是无意,智商、行事上此人拖累进程。如今,无意中对人与事做总结,又一次发现,圣人真乃圣人,吾不及也。圣人早就说白了的话,我们细加琢磨,会省去太多的挫折历程。那些沉浸于“好话”、以为听不到“不好的话”的人,正深陷困境中,不知他们否想起了孔子以及这句话呢……

【关联文】 对话录1·虚荣到不自知; 对话录2·你只是太闲了; 对话录3·你不是真的想离开 对话录5·你在意的那些其实是什么?

·反思不是目的

原创文章,转载请注明: 转载自Hello world, Hello life! 吕布凡 Bufan LU

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