你能承担得起怎样的成本？
你能承担得起怎样的成本？
文/吕布凡
不止一个人与我讨论了，也不知道多少人都有过类似的问题，他们说：希望和别人真诚相对，做个好朋友、好的合作伙伴，可是总不自觉地给自己上上保护锁，一定得留得一手资料，话语总得在说的时候咽下一半，行事之前务必让自己反复思虑，还是少走半步，免得所受的伤害过大……这样的话，可以算是畏首畏尾吧，也算是安全了，我们可以把这种心理行为叫做“假象的负面预期”，那就是把行为的结果全部消极化。比如：
作为上司就猜测：“我说了这话，员工会不会认为我有成见？”
员工或学生在做决定之前会过分考虑，别人会怎样地眼光做出怎样的猜测……
年轻人则会猜测：我这么说出口之后，会不会在被拒绝后连普通朋友都做不成？
如此一来，事情的运作被复杂化，结果被消极化，沟通被迟钝化，一些隐隐约约难以呈现真实面目，想采取的行动又被“假象的负面预期”消磨殆尽，日复一日，工作学习都劳累无比。
这种情况，我们可以拿开饭店做生意来比较，从而来减轻做决定前的忧虑愁绪，大家都知道开饭店会盈利，很多人都想拥有一家属于自己经营的店铺，可是成为老板的人又少之又少（相比有开店意愿的人而言）。
- 首先，开饭店之前需要有一间铺子，这个就吓退了一批想开店的人，其实除了买店面，还可以租，甚至可以与别的店面合并、共用一地，先占得一只脚跟，再图长远发展……
- 其次，开店盈利需要时间积累，不是一件事情一旦开始立刻就会有明显的结果浮出水面，这个又有一批人难以耐心等待，会用大部分的精力去计算和怀疑盈利所需要等待的时日。
- 另外，还有一旦当开店不成功，又无法瞬间将店面外兑的时候，店上的装饰画面、客人用过的旧碗筷，为了本店做的昂贵的装饰和招牌都很难再被利用，只能廉价当做废品卖给回收处，这个是凡开店之人都该做好的心理准备。
这些便是真正的成本：当你需要去做决定的时候，不管成败与否，为了这个决定所准备的系列无法避免、也无法回收的付出，就是成本，如果你想不做任何的付出与风险承担，还做什么生意呢？你想把所有的风险都避免在做决定之前，那还做什么领导，做什么决定呢？
试想，你把所忧虑的一切都当做是做决定的成本，把做结果达成作为一件生意，岂不简单有条理？设想如下：
我想告诉员工，你迟到3次了，而且会议缺席，不是没考虑你最近闹离婚，而是已经到达了一定的限制，你必须得到相应的惩罚，这是一件事情执行的最初目的，若员工肯能因此辞职，那便是下达惩罚命令的成本和风险；
我想告诉老板，主管不是一次两次欺负和强占我的设计成果了，那好，老板知道了为你做主这是最初想达成的目的，那么，老板和主管沆瀣一气，你被迫下岗走人就是成本和风险，这恰似一场生意；
我想追得一个女孩子，平日是好朋友，其一、追到手了便此生无憾，可是那人眼光甚高，追不到了以后见面甚为尴尬；其二、花费一年青春去讨好逢迎她，也未必见得成效，那到底是规矩一下自己的行为还是开始行动呢？若是把它当做一件生意，你能承受多大成本，尤其是像投资店里装修字画、很难回收的字画、碗筷那样的成本，可以承受么？
当你给出自己答案，“可以”，或者“不可以”的时候，你就知道怎么做了。
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