吹毛求疵，求到“疵”
吹毛求疵，求到“疵”
文/吕布凡
早在中学时期，不只受了鲁迅先生还是夏丏尊的影响过大，还是在青春期读了太多“痞子”王朔的书，一时间对“批评”，“评论”产生了巨大而痛苦的“兴趣”。
写过一段时间影评，还写了一段时间社论，发表的极其少，看到了新闻、事件倒把自己气个半死，写个评论需要一整天来消化自己的情绪垃圾，实在耽误了不少当时的青春时光。
后来，大学了，读了些管理、心理学系列的书，不再有抱怨负面事件的习惯，再加上毕业的一年多后我教了一段时间的语文高考作文，看到一个问题的习惯不是去挑毛病，而是努力地使之客观化、分析后再正面化，那段时间，我的生活真是理智又愉悦。
工作的闲余时间解释了不少讲师行内的专家，自不量力建立了一个群，定期进去求教，学到不少，那些谦虚的老牌讲师都乐意拿出问题来请教，也乐意义务地分析一个案例的由来，认真地好不抱怨地说出自己的困难和解决设想，往往却又那么一两个人总是夹杂在其中，反复地挑毛病、不断地提醒大家，改变有多么苦难，社会环境多么污浊、还有生存空间多么狭窄，刚刚发了言的人所说的话多么傻……我知道，那一定不是口才，差不多叫吹毛求疵吧。（认清自己有多难）
突然有一天，我决定看看他们的资料，发现，居然是群里最年轻的人，学历最浅显、专业知识最薄弱的20来岁的青年人，甚至还有混入的未成年人，吃惊的还有三十未立，四十仍未立的销售人员，基层打工人员这，他们居然有这么“深刻”的言辞，为何生活、事业仍无起色？……让我豁然有所悟，想起中学时期，外语老师画过的一个圆，他说：
圆面积越是小，就好比越是无知的人，他们越是认为自己知道得多，在哪里指指点点，不停地批评；
越是有知的人，圆的面积也就越大，他们越不会去处处批评，处处诘责，倒会越有学习的态度……
至今想起，感慨颇多，原来小时候知道的并不是真的知道，需要这么多年的经历才能成熟地理解一个小例子，何况生活？
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“For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.”