解孔子眼里“好听的话”

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吕布凡 in

解孔子眼里“好听的话”

                                                    文/吕布凡

    许多人在做矛盾的坚持，一方面实在乐意听“好话”，来自陌生人、下属、朋友，甚至至亲，都想听到“YES”，甚至想听到与“YES”可以划等号的千奇百怪的“好话”。另一方面，当事人为了显示自己的宽宏，却必须告诉每一个人，自己是喜欢听到不同声音的人，于是，古代官场常会出现的“良性过错”就再现了—大人没有什么不足之处，唯一的缺点就是太为民着想了。八岁孩童都会觉得倍加讽刺，大人物们却常常沉浸于这种“批评”之中，有时会上了瘾地去博得貌似“不同的声音”，而其实则是“不同的好话”而已。如：

 

 

 

太善良
过于仁慈
某些程度还是好心的
出发点是对的
……

    孔子教导他的学生，说，总是说你好话的人，对你是不怀好意的。想必定有一定道理，千百年过去了，这话也常被人们使用，那么为什么有人愿意违心地去说好话呢？归纳起来，大致如下：

    企图变得老于世故，不愿意承认自己把事态看得清晰；
    认知有根本障碍，难以看清事情发展脉络；
    对已有的认知不确定，明哲保身不妄发任何不利言论。

 

    把持有这三种观念的人按照“土”方法归纳起来，又可以认定哪几种呢？也很清晰，不过如以下两类而已：

 

一、脑子清楚、立场不清楚；
二、立场清楚、脑子不清楚。

 

    把爱说好话的情况和容易说好话的人归纳起来看看，确实如孔子老人家所说，这样的人或有心或无意地对别人“不怀好意”了，如果是有心，立场上此人不是同行列，如果是无意，智商、行事上此人拖累进程。如今，无意中对人与事做总结，又一次发现，圣人真乃圣人，吾不及也。圣人早就说白了的话，我们细加琢磨，会省去太多的挫折历程。那些沉浸于“好话”、以为听不到“不好的话”的人，正深陷困境中，不知他们否想起了孔子以及这句话呢……

【关联文】 对话录1·虚荣到不自知； 对话录2·你只是太闲了； 对话录3·你不是真的想离开 对话录5·你在意的那些其实是什么？

·反思不是目的

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